What did we forget?

We had a fantastic wedding weekend to say the least. While we will post more meaningful thoughts in the near future, I thought I would mention the few things we forgot to do during the weekend while they are still fresh in my mind.

It's difficult looking forward and thinking of details, items, or situations that you need to remember or prepare for: to think of what you didn't think of while planning a wedding weekend. Looking back, we did a pretty good job! I think if I were to be a super hero, my special power would be (or is) to look at situations and know what questions to ask, what problems could arise, and what has been left out and how to plan to make sure everything gets done. I only thought of three things that we didn't do; important or not, you make the call:

1 - Lack of Extreme Creativity in Severe Weather

While the weather for wedding day was always forecast as sunny since the 10-day lineup was available, the dinner the night before, the one outside, was always a toss-up. I wasn't worried until this forecast was deemed part of a tropical storm (Nicole) that had a 90% chance of heavy rains and winds and becoming just a terrible situation. While we anticipated rain, we did not anticipate heavy rain/winds and especially, a flood - all of which was problematic with a half indoor, half outdoor venue. Luckily, the heavy rains stopped at 11AM and the rain actually stopped completely from 5pm to 8:30pm. Pretty good!

2 - Purell

Knowing this was the one thing we forgot for the dinner makes me quite happy. While there was a bathroom with a sink, it wasn't in-house. We should have had a small bottle of purell.

3 - Car Rental Gas

After our wedding weekend, we dropped off our rental car and realized we forgot to fill up on our way to the airport. Fearing the worst from our free-upgraded SUV, our jaws dropped when the service man began checking the numbers on the car. Thinking this was going to be $100 or more for $45 worth of gas, I was not happy. Luckily, Emily jumped in and said "we just got married, with everything we needed to do this weekend we just simply forgot." The service guy was forgiving and gave it to us at the regular rate and it only cost us $50! (with a loss of at MOST $5). Just two reminders to 1 - always milk a special event and 2 - if you don't add something to your google calendar or ical, don't expect it to get done.

I am also giddy to think that nothing went wrong or unexpected during the wedding: ceremony, reception, dinner or afterwards. Of course, the alcohol situation was not what we eventually agreed upon (while it took a while to finally agree and decide what we were doing, we forgot to finalize our decision with the venue, leaving an open, full bar the entire night). While it was close to what we wanted, it was not exact but I don't think it upset anyone; and being the only detail that wasn't pretty much perfect, I can't see there being anything to complain about.

-The Groom

Beefing up the Save-the-Date cards

Our save the date cards went out a couple months ago and I thought it would be interesting to describe the process a little. We looked for art deco artists and immediately were attracted to Georges Barbier, and settled on the "The Fire."

There was one small problem. I soon noticed that all people in all of Barbier's paintings were very feminine. Sometimes over the top: high heels, make-up and possibly breasts! Determined to make it work, I made a few adjustments to "The Fire."

• Extended the knees to eliminate a small frame
• Trimmed the eyebrows
• Darkened the hair & leveled it (no styles)
• Changed the seemingly high heels into regular shoes
• Eliminated the blush
• Lessened the cheek bone shadow
• Straightened the cuffs on the pants

And that was it! (As you can see below from the before and after picture)

Cheers!
The Fiance

Counting Down

I was checking one of our registry sites today to see if we had added mini-muffin tins (we hadn't, but they're there now!) and was informed by Crate & Barrel that there were "100 days until your (our) event."

What??

In planning for our wedding, I've always taken comfort in the fact that the wedding was MORE than 100 days away. It seemed a lifetime away.

To deal with the ensuing panic following this revelation, I thought it best to clear my head. We are fortunate to have a lovely park adjacent to our office "park," which D and I frequent on our lunch hour. Today my love was chained to his desk for a seemingly fruitless task, so I took off on my own for some power walking and inner venting.

As I walked past the toddlers and their nannies playing on the jungle gyms, I thought about the mountain of tasks left to do. We haven't finalized the text for our invitations, let alone gotten them printed and assembled. I still don't have my bridal jewelry (if you know me, you know this is important). My sister and mother have yet to find dresses. What are we going to do for placecards? And seating charts? What about the bar--wine and beer or liquor too?

Deep breath, Emily.

I rounded the park for my second lap and maneuvered around a pair of dogwalkers. I tried to think about the things that ARE done. I have my dress, all altered and sitting in my closet in Massachusetts. David has his suit. We've (mostly) settled on centerpieces. Our menu is set. Dessert is a work in progress, but with my sister at the helm I have no qualms about it being deliciously decadent. We have our DJ, and ceremony musicians.

As a passenger plane from the neighboring Santa Monica airport blasted off feet away from me, I reminded myself of the reason that we are doing all of this. I counted my blessings that David has been so, so involved every step of the way (which is particularly good, I tell my friends, because I really am terribly lazy). I considered my luck in having a mother, and future mother-in-law, who have opinions, but no demands for our special day. I gratefully thought of the many friends who have offered their help as we plan and prepare.

I return to you refreshed and ready for the task at hand. Bring it on, October 2nd. We're going to be ready for you.

xo
The Fiancee

Family Wedding

Yesterday my "little" cousin Donny got married. "Little" gets air-quotes in this case because, while 7 or so months younger than me, Donny is a good foot, foot and a half taller than me. Ah, to be the 5'4" midget in a family of 6'+ giants...'tis my fate.

I wasn't sure that I would be able to make it to the wedding, due to saving for our own wedding, as well as a much busier work schedule than I would like. I kept checking travel websites, though, in the hopes that I would see a fare I just couldn't refuse. My persistence paid off, and as soon as we received Donny and Kathryn's beautiful invitation, I was able send back my RSVP card with a happy "Yes!"

I am so, so glad I was able to go. The Henderson family is a big group of fun and loving people, and I relish the time I get to spend with them. I know that I won't have time to talk much to them at my own wedding, and I definitely wanted the chance to hang out before that happened. The wedding was held at Willowdale Estate in Topsfield, MA, on the north shore of the state.

What a beautiful venue. I have just been blown away by all of the spots where friends and family have chosen to get married, and this was no exception. Elegantly rustic, the ceremony and reception were both held in the backyard, the latter under a huge tent that was simply decorated with huge green and white paper lanterns. So great.

Over the past 3 years, we have seen a number of ceremonies, and each one has been so meaningful and personal and unique to each couple. Kathryn and Donny decided to have a non-church wedding, a decision that may have thrown my largely Catholic family for a loop. I for one was so glad they chose to do that, selfishly because D and I are doing the same, but also just because I believe that couples should have the right to get married in the manner that suits their lives and beliefs. If you're not a churchgoer, why get married in a church? But I digress (as usual).

K&D's ceremony may have been presided over by a minister, but it was a completely secular affair until the very end when he said a prayer over them. The most meaningful parts of the ceremony for me were when my brother and one of Kathryn's friends each spoke about their thoughts on the relationship of the couple, and on love and marriage in general. It made it much more personal than just following the standard order of a church wedding service. I appreciated how much they made the ceremony their own.

What can I say about the rest of the night? Dancing the night away with all my beautiful cousins was super fun-telling my grandmother I had gotten tipsy at the open bar was, in retrospect, probably a lapse in judgment-having my first food stations experience was fun, and made me a bit wistful that we opted against them-and getting to see Donny smile with his lovely new bride (my new cousin) made my trek across the country completely worthwhile. I hope I can give my family as good a time as they had last night!

Cheers,
The Fiancee

Prepping.

At the suggestion (not demand, though I've teased her plenty to the contrary) of our dear friend and officiant Krysta, D and I have begun to see a pre-marital counselor. Lest you get all your knickers in a bunch, rest assured that our relationship is as strong as ever. I agree 100% with the reasoning behind it--it's an opportunity to talk to someone impartial about any existing issues we each may have with the relationship, as well as any issues that could potentially rise up later (babies, house-buying, dabbling with the Occult, etc.).

We had our second session yesterday, at which Linda gave us each a sheet of paper. She told us it was a quick version of the Meyer Briggs test, used to determine what type of personality you are. She explained that it's good to get an idea of what type of personality we each have, so we can learn the best ways to communicate, interact, and (in our case) grow old with another person without going batty.

It was a simple front-and-back piece of paper with about 20 questions. She reviewed each of our sheets and tabulated as we watched. It's silly, but I was nervous. What if our results revealed that we were destined to be miserable together?

Breathe easy, friends. Turns out we're not only compatible, but exactly the same personality type. I believe the term was Internal Intuitive Feeling Judging, or INFJ. Our particular type apparently occurs in only 1% of the population, so the fact that we found each other at all is pretty special. But I already knew that...

xo
The Fiancee

Planning

OK, so maybe this comes as a surprise to absolutely no one but me, but I am totally loving this wedding planning business. Now that we have our venue, caterer and photographers locked down, I feel like I can really let loose with all the ideas that have been storing up in my brain! The last thing D and I want is a cookie cutter wedding-we want something beautiful, unique and meaningful to us and all of you wonderfuls that will be there with us! The Internet has been such an amazing, albeit ridiculously overwhelming, resource.

It's really insane how much is written about weddings, and the lists of things you "need" for your big day (balloon artist, anyone?). However, it is helpful to find these huge wedding to-do lists and pick and choose what pieces of them work best for you. No, I don't think we'll be having that multimedia laser light show, but yes, we should figure out what to do for a guest book. I would never have thought of a guest book on my own. This is why these crazy lists are helpful. (And yes, I realize that guest books are quite standard. Let's just say that my creative mind doesn't think about THOSE types (ahem, boring) of details. I am plan to make even the guest book fun, though...)

I've also come across some books that I think will really help with some good thoughts and ideas as we get into the nitty-gritty planning details. I just got this book from the library yesterday and dove right into it. It's nicely broken up into stages--I skipped right past the "Do you really want to get married?" and "Announcing Your Engagement" (thank you, Facebook) sections and am just picking through the sections that speak to what we are trying to accomplish. So far it is a little generalized for what I am looking for, but I'm hopeful that, like a good mystery novel, the plot will thicken soon enough.

Hopefully the same will happen for this blog. I'll write something a bit more substantive soon enough.

xo
The Fiancee

An Aside

In my last post, I admitted to completely giving up my humble ideals in order to have a 'big' (in our little universe, at least) wedding. I feel I should explain myself a little bit, at least. We've had many friends get married over the last couple of years. Not one of those weddings was a small affair. They varied in style and cost, but all were celebrations of the love that our friends shared for one another. I really think that my life is richer for having been a part, large or small, of all of those weddings. I'm grateful to know so many people who have found their life partner, and that they chose to let me share in some small part the expression of their love by attending their weddings.

In short, I hope that with our wedding, David and I are able to give back some of the joy that we have experienced at all these other weddings. If we were to elope, that couldn't happen. That may not be a good reason, but it's ours.

Love and kisses,
The Fiancee